snousle: (rakko)
[personal profile] snousle
The number one problem in my business is anxiety.

The number one source of anxiety is the question "How much food should I buy?"

(The number two source of anxiety is water. Water is the most difficult of all ingredients to understand and control. I swear, some day I'm going to write "The Water Cookbook", and it will describe in exhaustive detail all the problems and benefits associated with the movement of water in, out, and through a cooking process. But that's a whole 'nother subject.)

Anyway: Dear Lazywebs... please tell me how much food to buy for an event. I'm trapped between the rock of disappointing a client, and the hard place of wasting food. I cannot bear to risk either one. I can adjust for the latter - we have to eat ourselves, after all - but that still doesn't offer a whole lot of room for error.

It might be a week long camping trip, or a cocktail party, or a five course dinner, or a buffet for a naked midget rugby team. The formula must encompass everything. It's a tall order, but there must be one that is true, and simple, and workable. I rarely get it wrong myself, but I spend so much time fretting about it I'm going to have a coronary if I keep it up. There are so many variables, and so much second-guessing.

I get the feeling that the only thing that really matters is total calories. Given a reasonably balanced set of ingredients - a mix of carbs, proteins, and veg - it surely does not really matter how you arrange them. But how can you know how many calories are needed, and how many calories you have brought with you? I have seriously considered constructing an elaborate database to answer that question but I am sure there exists a reliable way of estimating this that is simple and straightforward. It's just a matter of finding it.


And, oh generous lazywebs, BTW: if you give me an answer, it must be correct. Because if you fail me, I will be destroyed.

Date: 2009-07-25 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dorisduke.livejournal.com
I don't do this for a living, not will I ever. But I often make food for groups of folks and I always make too much. But considering I am doing this for the enjoyment of it, this is never a concern for me. I have no idea how I would ever figure out how much I should really make as every event; the amount consumed is so very much different from the last.

Date: 2009-07-25 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allanh.livejournal.com
I would be surprised if there's an actual formula.

For example, here are some of my GUESSES:

Naked midget rugby players may or may not eat the same as a buncha bikers. They're smaller, so will eat less, but they're probably also more physically active than the bikers, so they might eat the same or slightly more.

Leathermen camping probably won't each as much as bears camping.

Dykes will eat more than leathermen, but less than bears.

Runners will want to eat either lots of carbs (night before a run) or very few carbs.

Gym bunnies will want PROTEIN, hold the carbs.

Randy will want salt and bacon, and plenty of it.

Allan will want chocolate.

This seems to be a very subjective measurement, doesn't it?

one cook's opinion

Date: 2009-07-25 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chefxh.livejournal.com
Good luck formulizing this. Assuming strict portion control (one inattentive college kid can reduce my yield by half), oh, 4-5 ounces or roughly 125 grams of protein, 120 ml or half a cup of vegetables, 6 oz or 170 grams of starch, more or less. (That and the better part of a quart of sugar water seems to feed your average teenager.) These lunch numbers might be raised by 15 or 20 percent for dinner, or doubled if you want to be one of those "come on down for the huuuuuuge portions! yeehaw!" places, which somehow I doubt.

You do have a copy of the (frustrating but oh so useful) Book of Yields, yes?
Edited Date: 2009-07-25 02:17 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-25 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com
Maybe you could just get some pigs?

Date: 2009-07-25 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pink-halen.livejournal.com
We have found that bears often throw calculations off. When there are women present the cooks can guess that the women will eat less than the men. When the bears descend on a caterer they all eat the same amount and thus anyone applying their "Rule of Thumb" will run out of food.

I can't even guess how complicated this would be to figure out. My best guys is that a woman eats 75% of the amount a man puts on his plate. The trick is establishing a baseline for the average man. The Average Women can then be calculated.

It just takes experience to get a true feel.

Good Luck

Date: 2009-07-25 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kevynjacobs.livejournal.com
Mmmmmmmm.... eat food! YUM!

Date: 2009-07-25 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ednixon.livejournal.com
You should "adjust for the latter". Because "disappointing a client" is not a good option. IMHO.

Date: 2009-07-25 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stivalineri.livejournal.com
This reminded me of the "Veal Oscar" episode of Mary Tyler Moore, where Mr. Grant takes two helpings. I've found that when I'm having more than 8 people over, that having menu items of starch with about 10% to 25% protein work well to satisfy and sate bears. So lasagna or jambalaya works, a roasted corn and pork tenderloin salad works, chicken and poblano enchiladas work, lemon wild and brown rice salad with shrimp works. Grain or starch is 50% of the dish, vegetables 25% and protein is 25%.

Date: 2009-07-27 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] albear-garni.livejournal.com
Should you, shudder... consult the all-knowing Martha?

Date: 2009-08-03 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] backrubbear.livejournal.com
Aside from your logistics related to venue, you also have run into the issue of expectations. Like what [livejournal.com profile] pink_halen says below, a lot of it depends on what people expect volume and quality-wise. Some people will just want a lot of food of good quality. Others will want a number of small dishes that are satisfying but don't leave them full. Others will look askance at a table where there aren't leftovers because they don't look like they're providing enough food while still others will look at excess as waste.

It's all cultural and part of your problem is learning what those cultures are and catering [sic] to them.

Or, put anecdotally, when I was in California a number of years ago and visiting the house of an southern Indian coworker, I couldn't figure out how to make them stop feeding me. It felt weird enough that he and I were eating along with one other male relative and everyone else was waiting. It certainly illustrated differences of expectations.
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